hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go!

On Sept. 7th I returned to work. *sad face* I was totally not ready. Monday night as I was preparing things for work Khalil was watching my every move. He would not go to sleep. He knew something was not quite right. He was right! His nightly rountine of sleeping ten hours was all messed up. The first night he work up twice, once at 1:30 then again around 6:15. I leave the house at 6:30 so unfortunately for me he was awake when I left. This made it harder for me to leave and of course I cried. I think it would have been easier if he were sleeping. The next day he woke up in the middle of the night again but was sleep by the time I departed. He did this for the first week. So I had to work on interrupted sleep. All I could do was think about him all day long, even though I tried to stay busy. I think I did really well by only crying the first day. I feel better knowing he is with my grandmother and not strangers. He gets to stay at home longer than some children because Doug goes to work later than I do. These are the positives I tried to focus on as I began this work journey. The first weekend after I went back I decided to just chill at home with him and make up for lost time. I really feel like children of American today are mostly raised by sitters. Especially because when you get home it's time to cook, eat, and prepare for bed. I miss all of my "chill" days with him. But as I was told, I gotta leave him so I can feed him. We are on our second week now and I cried again on Monday. Maybe I will cry every Monday for a while, who knows. I truly believe Khalil thought it was over. Monday morning Doug said he was looking around for me when he woke up. My grandmother said he wanted to be held all day. That's what he did the very first day. I know he is trying to figure out, "what the heck is going on?" The highlight of my day is picking him up. When he sees me come in the door he is all smiles. I'm sure he misses me as much as I miss him. But we are adjusting.